Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I need a beard to bite.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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