You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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