Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
