Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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