she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
