Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
