its not stalking. its research.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
