so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
