my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
