I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
