We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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