and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
