Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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