Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Brb crying the tears of my youth
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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