So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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