Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
