Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Blood and glitter go together right?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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