Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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