omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
