it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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