WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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