I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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