he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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