i already hear my dad disowning me
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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