yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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