Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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