I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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