You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
