I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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