i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
