the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
