My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
