i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
