Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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