you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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