Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
