Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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