It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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