I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
either way he was missing a nipple.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
