It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize