I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
