Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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