You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
