I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
