Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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