found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
