why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
