Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
