Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
