my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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