Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
