Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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