i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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