Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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