Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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