Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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