Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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