i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize