Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
