just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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