It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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