sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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