I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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