What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
