chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
