All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
