we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
