yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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